The Wolf Dream

The Wolf Dream. I'm having the Wolf Dream. It's always the Wolf Dream these days. It started with one wolf and then two wolves and now there are a pack of them. There are twelve of them surrounding me, biting into me, tearing away chunks of my flesh. I turn and run from them and I always run so fast and so far, but it is never enough. They always catch me. They always devour me.

This time it is different. This time, I'm running through the forest, but I turn and the forest is gone. I'm running through my high school now and all my old teachers are watching me run for my life. "That'll never do," my algebra teacher says. "Bad form," my gym teacher says. "C minus," my English teacher says. Their lips don't move and they stand stock still, like statues. I run past them and out the door.

And now I'm back in the forest, where I know the wolves will catch me. I turn right and I'm in my house now and my parents are berating me for leaving the door open. "If you leave the door open, all kinds of animals can get it," my mom says, shaking her finger. I stop and try to talk to her, but a wolf pounces on her and rips out her throat. "Now see what you've done," my father says before another wolf rips out his throat.

The wolves turn from their meal and look at me with amber eyes. I back away, but then I hear growling behind me, too. I am surrounded. I only have one means of escape: the staircase. I run up the stairs, nearly tripping, but reaching the top just in time. I open the door to the left and go inside.

But I don't find myself in my room, where I should be. No, I'm inside the circus now. There are the fire-eaters and sword swallowers and contortionists. And there's the ringleader, with his clean white gloves. He gestures to me and I walk forward. "Don't worry, my boy," he says. "They aren't real. Nothing is real, you see. It is all a Dream, a grotesque and foolish dream." He gestures to the entire circus as it disappears into darkness, only a small circle of light illuminating him and me. "Nothing exists but you."

A hear the growling again and realize the wolves are all around me, just outside the circle of light. I beg and plead for the ringleader to help me, but he only smiles and repeats, "Nothing exists but you." Then he backs away into the darkness and disappears.

The growling gets louder and louder and I see their amber eyes and sharp, white teeth. They are going to eat me now and I won't wake up, I'll die here, in the Wolf Dream, I'll die for real. But as they come closer, I close my eyes and wake up.

And then I was back in my bed, so relieved that the dream wasn't real. I was sweating, so I decided to take a shower. After I finished the shower, I wiped away the condensation on the mirror and looked at myself. Then I opened my mouth wide and saw the teeth of the wolf.

And I woke up again. That has never happened to me. A dream within a dream. Weird Inception-style dreaming. I mean, I just had to write that whole thing up here before I forgot it.

Strange, usually my mom and dad are awake before me. I don't hear them though.

I walked downstairs and knocked on their bedroom, but they didn't answer. I opened the door slowly and saw them. Their throats were slashed repeatedly. Blood was everywhere. I felt sick and almost threw up. But then I got it. I know what's going on.

I'm still dreaming, aren't I? Of course I am.

And now that I know I'm dreaming, I can wake up from it. Pinching won't work, I know that. I wonder if killing yourself in a dream means you actually wake up?

Let's find out.

murdered by the moon

far away and long ago
far ago and long away
tell us a story
i know you're not boring
i was afraid
something is wrong something is wrong
long away and far ago
treachery and hatred are running after me
the night's night over
their jaws are hanging open
they will eat the sun and they will eat the moon
far away and long ago
i was afraid
this world is not for you
please don't go
please something is wrong
the world is long ago the night is far away
something is wrong

Chased

I had the same dream last night. Except it was slightly different.

This time, there were two wolf-things. I mean, they looked like wolves, but they were bigger. And not just bigger, but longer. They stretched out. They were huge. And their jaws were, like, super wide. And they chased after me, while I ran through the forest again.

The rest of the dream was the same though. I was running through each square hole of each giant tree, until I came to a big one where the hole was in the center, so I climbed it. I gripped each branch with my sweaty palms until I almost reached the center, but then I felt two pairs of claws hook onto me and pull me down. The giant wolf-things then devoured me starting with my ribs.

In conclusion: what was up with that last post? Did I do that in my sleep? Whatever. I woke up with Dandruff on my chest again. I need to get her to stop that.

euthanized by the sun

there comes a time in a young man's life when
out of the blue suddenly there was
something more and something less
complete and forever and surrounding me like a shroud
suddenly it all made sense
at last the second coming was at hand
jaws and teeth and the
night god's mouth opened wide
and swallowed the moon and the sun
forever and always
something more and something less
feel free to weep for me
never in a million years would
i'll be right right there thank you very much
why are you doing this
because because the straw man said
something tells me
something isn't right
something more and something less
forever and always

Howl

I haven't posted in a few weeks because I haven't really been remembering my dreams. Not even some of them, not even images, which I usually remember. But yesterday (or perhaps it was today), I did have a dream I remember.

I was running through the woods. It was dark and the moon was bright and full. It was bigger than normal, huge, like it was super close to the earth. It was so big I thought about reaching out and touching it. Just touching the moon, leaving my fingerprints in the dust.

But I kept running, because something was chasing me. I thought it was a wolf, but it was too big to be a wolf. In fact, everything was too big in these woods. The trees became big as soon as I looked at them, giant redwoods with square holes carved in them. I ran through each hole, each tree, trying to escape the giant wolf-thing that was after me. Sometimes the holes would be in the center of the tree, so I would have to climb up the tree in order to go through them, but I knew I had to go through the hole to escape.

Finally, the wolf-thing caught up to me as I was climbing a tree. It pulled me down with sharp claws and then pounced on my chest. It began to bite into my stomach and I could feel it burrowing down, its head going down into my ribcage. I wanted to scream, but all that came out was a howl.

So, in conclusion: I woke up to find my cat Dandruff on my chest. Yeah, that pretty much explained it.

Toothsome

A mouthful of teeth. No, not from one of my dreams; rather, it's because I recently went to the dentist and had some cavities filled in. It wasn't pleasant.

So, in conclusion: just picture Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors.

Hand of God

Another image from my dream. A white hand. Reaching up towards me. Trying to grab me. The hand of God or perhaps the hand of some dead thing, waiting for the moment to grip me tight and pull me down into the cold, hard earth and hold me there while I scream and scream and scream.

So, in conclusion: I'm staying away from white hands. Thank you.